Poor Stupid Sasha
by Lelija
Summary: SnK characters teach us English phrases and words. Here you can see Levi with high-heeled shoes, Mikasa begging for chocolate, and Sasha going on a diet, and...( A collection of monthly SnK oneshots, mosly based on Sasha, Mikasa, Eren or Levi. No yaoi. The first three chapters are really bad, but I'm editing them right now.)
1. To Enclose Levi

I am sorry for language mistakes. English is not my native language. In our English class every month we write a test which contains 50 new English words or phrases. This story is my way to learn them.

The list of words:

1\. Scruffy 2. Tracksuit 3. Combat 4. A fleece 5. A polo shirt 6. Purchase 7. To pose a threat to 8. In a fullground 9. To be looking forward enclose 11. Suffer from 12. To be discharged 13. Authorities 14. Eventually 15. Stunning 16. Menial 17. Vet 18. A plumber 19. A pipe 20. A carpenter 21. A nostril 22. A shin 23. A thigh 24. A throat 25. A waist 26. Facilities 27. Joint 28. Unwind 29. Obsolate encourage 31. A civil-engineer 32. To object 33. To fetch 34. To fall through 35. To carry on 36. Affluence 37. A weekend-break 38. A bargain 39. To hitch a ride 40. A charter-flight 41. To conduct business 42. Proficient 43. Vast 44. To put somebody through 45. To get through 46. Stroke 47. Dim 48. Hazardous 49. Hazard 50. To dispute

Just after his judgement, Eren was quite SCRUFFY.

Until Levi taught him lots of useful things.

Eren learned to do everything appropriately.

Not to wear a TRACKSUIT during the COMBAT, for example.

Eren will also never wear A FLEECE while sleeping anymore, and never try to wash dishes by using A POLO SHIRT that was PURCHASED him by Petra.

Mikasa didn't like how Levi had changed Eren's nature.

Not because she didn't like the cleanness but because she hated Levi.

So she wanted to POSE some THREAT TO him.

After Mikasa saw Levi beating Eren,she understood that revenge to that shorty had to be IN THE FULLGROUND of the other things to her.

So Mikasa WAS always LOOKING FORWARD TO cause some trouble to Levi.

One night Mikasa had a dream, and she heard a voice telling her to ENCLOSE Levi.

Even though she didn't know what the word _enclose_ means, Mikasa somehow inferred that it sounds painfully .

So her mission was to see Levi SUFFERING FROM it.

In her imagination, Levi suffered from _enclosing_ so much he was never DISCHARGED from the hospital anymore.

In her visions AUTHORITIES of that hospital even decided to treat Levi so badly that his anguish was growing and growing and growing and...

But Mikasa didn't have any idea how to _enclose _Levi because she did't know the accurate meaning of that word.

After several days of thinking about it, Mikasa EVENTUALLY had another dream .

She heard that STUNNING voice again.

It told her that _enclose_ means _to hurt an ankle _because both _enclose _and _ankle_ contain letters _l, e_ and _n._

_L _and _e_ were a part of Levi's name and _e _and _n_ also were in Eren's name.

These arguments were surely undeniable, so the voice convinced Mikasa that it's words were true.

So Mikasa had an idea.

All that was left was just to _enclose _Levi.

There also was a MENIAL part of her plan.

She had to prepare everything that was needed to _enclose _Levi.

Mikasa had to be sure that during the time she tries to _enclose _Levi there will be no VETS around.

She had recently heard vets are the best ankle healers.

A PLUMBER could have been a dangerous person too, because Levi would be able to borrow A PIPE from him in order to protect himself.

Mikasa didn't know how to fight the people that are armed with pipes.

Her subconsciousness told Mikasa that only A CARPENTER wouln'd cause any threat to her perfect plan.

The next night Mikasa heard that powerful voice again.

The voice gave her an advice.

_-Don't even touch his NOSTRIL, SHIN, THIGH, THROAT nor WAIST! Your target is his ankle._

_-I will do as you say,- _Mikasa swore.

At first she thought of getting some FACILITIES that would help her to _enclose _Levi.

Mikasa was afraid that if she was doing it herself, she woul hurt Levi's JOINT but not his ankle.

As Mikasa had already thought about everything that was needed, she UNWINDED for a while.

And didn't think about it anymore for an entire hour.

During the time Mikasa went to her bed, the idea to _enclose _Levi already seemed OBSOLATE to her.

But then she had that dream again.

That voice ENCOURAGED Mikasa to make her dream to _enclose _Levi come true.

The voice also told her that she was cursed.

If Mikasa doesn't _enclose_ Levi soon, she will marry A CIVIL- ENGINEER.

She tried TO OBJECT that, but woke up and saw Sasha looking at her with sad eyes, full of hunger.

Mikasa FETCHED her some bread.

While Sasha was gurging the bread, Mikasa told her everything and then asked so sadly:

_-What if my plan FALLS THROUGH?_

At first Sasha CARRIED ON eating, but when she saw Mikasa's face, she stopped and said:

_-Well, a civil engineer sounds like a someone rich, so his wife would live in AFFLUENCE .Entire her life would be like A you marry a civil-engineer, you could look down on these, who try TO HITCH A RIDE during the rain. You would have your own carriage, no, ten carriages!_

_-But I don't want to..._

Sasha interrupted her :

_-You would have enough money to buy yourself would invent a plane for could have CHARTER FLIGHTS, you could use them TO CONDUCT your own BUSINESS and become really PROFICIENT at would start to admire you for this._

-_You didn't understand me at all... – _Mikasa sighed. – _But what is a plane? _

_-I don't know. _ – Sasha replied. – _I just like to invent some new words or phrases which make my mind VASTER._

Mikasa found this quite interesting.

_-For example?_

_-TO PUT ME THROUGH, for example. This phrase would make everyone bring potatoes, bread and black tea to me. There are two letters o in potatoes and four of them in that phrase. It sounds like a spell._

_-Do you know a spell which hurts somebody's ankle?_– Mikasa inquired.

_-TO GET THROUGH TO that person's ankle, I guess?_

_-Wrong! It's to enclose! – _Mikasa STROKE Sasha's hair and continued with a DIM voice - _Poor stupid Sasha, you don't even know what the word enclose means, right? Poor, poor stupid HAZARDOUS world is full of HAZARDS and you don't even know that if you want to hurt somebody's ankle the spell that you need is just a word enclose..._

Sasha thought that she should DISPUTE, but then changed her mind.

In place of it Sasha will just create some new words and become smarter, so Mikasa will never call her stupid anymore.

The next day everyone was able to see Mikasa cappering in the middle of the garden and murmuring something.

Also, she was holding Levi's favorite broom.

Armin was worried about her.

_-Mikasa, what are you trying to do?_

_-Enclose, enclose, enclose..._

_-She is trying to enclose Levi, - _Sasha explained.

_The next chapter on 2014-03-21._


	2. Sasha's birthday

E-Eren

A-Armin

M-Mikasa

S-Sasha

J-Jean

C-Connie

E: Hey, Armin, why're you crying?

A: My clothes...my clothes... There is no PATTERN on them!

E: And that's all?

A: I want clothes with CHECK pattern! But they are all PLAIN, PLAIN, PLAIN!

E: Only girls worry about patterns.

A: That's the point! I want to be a girl!

E: If we talk like girls, will you calm down?

A: Ok. So, what's your favorite type and SHAPE of clothes?

E: BAGGY,LOOSE and lots of FUR.

A: I don't like FURRY clothes. I like those, which are simply SMOOTH.

...

S: Jeaaaan!

J: Huh? Is something wrong?

S: Yes, it is! You're the only one who forgot!

J: Forgot what?

S: Today is my birthday!

J: Oh. So, then... Happy birthday!..

S: Where's my present?

J: I...I... Maybe you should tell me what you want?

S: Promise you will really do what I ask.

J: Eh.. Ok...

S: I want to see you with HIGH-HEELED shoes!

J: No!

S: Yes! Now! And you will also be wearing LONG-SLEEVED pink dress MATCHING with those shoes.

J: You are so BAD-TEMPERED.

...

M: Eren.

E: What now?

M: Why don't...

S: Hey, you two!

M: It's not a good BEHAVIOUR to INTERRUPT talking people.

S: Today is my birthday! I can do everything!

M: I know. But still...

S: Oh, you're always so RESERVED, MISERABLE and GLOOMY.

E: You were supposed to CHEER Sasha ON her birthday, Mikasa.

S: I forgive her for that her UNDERARCHIEVEMENT.

M: Am I supposed to thank you now?

S: Yes.

E: Thank her, Mikasa!

M: Thanks.

S: Come to the girl's dorms tonight, Eren. You will see something you have never seen.

M: Sasha... I will kill you.

S: You can't. Today is my birthday.

M: Then I will kill you tomorrow.

...

E: Who is that beautiful woman?

S: It's a very MEAN person. That person forgot my birthday present.

M: That's terrible. Poor Sasha. I CAN'T FACE that woman already now.

S: Eren also CAN'T STAND that person.

E: No!

S: Look more carefully. SURVEILLANCE is needed.

...

E: Jean?!

J: CLOSED-CIRCUIT TELEVISION.

E: What?!

S: He's drunk.

J: Mikasa, I want to be A SHOPLIFTER and steal your heart!

M: Your words only BOTHER ME.

...

C: If Sasha can do that to Jean, I will never RELY ON her anymore.

S: Hey!

C: What's now?

S: It's my birthday! You cannot say such things!

...

J: I am so VIVID with high-heeled shoes...

E:Tomorrow you'll be ashamed you TOOK A PART in this.

J: I didn't want! She...she...she made me do it!

M: Hey, Jean, don't cry.

J: But... but...but...

S: Stop making HARM TO my birthday party with you tears!

J: Eh... What am I supposed to do?

S: Dance like on A CATWALK!

M: Thinking about NUTRITION only made you really dumb.

...

S: Such a NUISANCE! Why didn't Armin come?

C: He came. And he was AMUSED and DELIGHTED.

S: Was?

C: Now he is EMBARRASED.

S: I am FED UP WITH THIS! Why can't he just be happy at my birthday party?

C: You just listen.

...

A: I am HOMESICK now! In past, you didn't tell others such things about me.

J: Shut up, Armin! I want to hear more.

M: Eren. Eren. Eren...

E: What's now?

M: Stop it.

E: No.

M: Sasha is IRRITATED.

E: She should be PLEASED with this.

J: Tell us more!

E: After he said he wants to be a girl...

M: Jean, stop him!

J: I am sorry, Mikasa.I am so RELIEVED everyone forgot I am looking like a woman now.

M: Beautiful woman.

J: Yes, Mikasa, I am beautiful...

M: If you don't stop him, I will RECALL this night every time I see you.

...

S: No! No! No! I am FRUSTRATED!

M: Stop screaming. You will wake Eren up.

S: Help me! Save my party!

M: BOUNCE OFF me! He's drunk just because of your stupid party!

S: LAND him down and help me!

M: You're as stupid as A LID.

...

E: Huh? What? What has happened?

M: You...you...you got drunk during Sasha's birthday party!

E: ENTIRE day is full of tears. First I saw Armin crying, now you...

M: W...what?

E: Stop crying, Mikasa.

M: But...

E: Just don't cry. Ok?

...

M: Sasha?

S: What now?

M: The CONTENTS of your bithday party were terrible.

S: I know.

M: I am sorry we were so DISOBEDIENT.

S: T...thanks for understanding.

M: Don't cry. Smile. Your next birthday will be better. I promise you.

S: Haven't you promised to kill me today?

...

A: What's with that strange face?

M: Poor, poor Sasha...

A: You are calling her poor because her party was a failure, right?

M: No. She is poor because she is so stupid she doesn't understand my jokes, poor stupid Sasha.


	3. Uncle And Niece

Once upon a time, Mikasa woke up in the midnight and found A POPPY on her bed.

\- Sasha, wake up!

\- Again… Let's talk about the UNEMPLOYMENT tomorrow, okay?

\- I don't…

\- If you want TO RAISE some MONEY, we can do it tomorrow as well.

\- You are DISABLED to think! I want to talk about poppies.

\- Tomorrow, please…

…

Mikasa made herself A WREATH from those poppies.

Jean saw her wearing a wreath made from poppies.

\- I AM SO JEALOUS OF Eren!

\- Jean, do you know something about these poppies?

Jean WAS SO NERVOUS ABOUT this situation he forgot how to speak.

\- Oh, I AM SO ANNOYED ABOUT it! Nobody wants to talk to me today.

Mikasa thought that things are going to TURN OUT in an ODD way.

...

\- Captain Levi...

-Yes, Ackerman?

\- I will COPE WITH YOU!

-You think I AM SCARED OF this?

\- No. But you have put these poppies on my bed!

-I AM PROUD OF you, Ackerman. You FOUND IT OUT really quickly.

\- Why did you do this?

\- You really want to know?

-Yeah.

\- I am making you and Yeager to confess in love to each other.

...

\- Yeager! Come with me for a bit.

-Captain Levi?

-It's an EXTRAORDINARY situation.

...

Eren WAS so ASHAMED OF what Levi had just told him.

\- Such a BAFFLED situation, - he said.

\- Go and confess in love to her!

\- Do I really have to?

-Otherwise, I will start givig her poppies every night until she falls for me.

\- But... what do I actually have to say?

\- Praise her. Say that her FLIP-FLOPS are really cute.

\- But there are no flip-flops amongst Mikasa's POSSESSIONS!

\- Then SET OFF something else. It's your mission.

\- Mission?!

\- And humanity's destiny depends on it.

...

\- You'd SACRIFICE your life for him.

-So?

\- Then go and confess in love.

\- Sasha... if you say it ever again, I will kill you with this TRAY.

\- But...y...

\- Love is IRRELEVANT for this situation. We need to destroy Titans first.

...

They BUMPED INTO each other .

\- Oh, Mikasa, you look as nice as... GOLD PROSPECTOR...

-Eren?!

\- No, not like that, but... You are as cute as AN AU PAIR.

-What has happened to you?

-Captain Levi told me to tell you I love you.

\- He told me to do this, too. I AM so FED UP WITH that shrimp!

\- Yeah. It's so stupid to think we could...er... feel this way.

\- That's true.

-Let's avenge him!

\- We need a plan.

\- We have Armin.

...

They NARRATED everything to Armin.

\- So, your ULTIMATE aim is to avenge.

-I AM SO SAD AT this! You love each are going to harm him just for telling truth.

\- As things have TURNED UP this way, you really can think so, but we don't love each other.

\- Really?!

\- We would BE BORED with each other if we were a couple.

\- We are like a brother and sister to each other, - Eren said.

\- And this kind of love is ILLEGIBLE for siblings.

\- I AM really SURPRISED AT this. But I will help you.

...

A lot of COURAGE was needed to make Armin's plan come true.

Everyone disliked Levi's SEVERITY so everyone helped them.

First of all, they hided all the tools for cleaning.

Later they made such a mess in their house it looked like A FACTORY.

AS they GOT OVER their fear, they made another crazy thing.

They TOOK OFF and threw away Levi's shoes.

After that, Sasha replaced them with her favorite high-heeld shoes.

\- WHEREAS we did it, I am a little WORRIED ABOUT Captain's reaction, - Connie said.

...

Captain Levi looked UPSET when he saw what had happenned.

He screamed:

-Hanji Zoe!

\- What? – she looked HAPPY WITH that Levi remembered her.

\- You have done it again!

\- What have I done?

...

\- It's bad. He thinks Hanji did all this.

\- I AM SO DELIGHTED WITH that he thinks so! – Sasha said.

\- Poor stupid Sasha, - Mikasa said. – Don't you understand we have TO CALL OFF our plan?

\- Why? It's so fun!

\- It's not good to blemish Hanji.

...

Mikasa became A SPOKESPERSON and told Levi everything.

\- I see, - he finally said. – I didn't mean to make you two confess to each other... I was just drunk.

\- I didn't think Captain was so OUTGOING he could get drunk, - Armin whispered.

\- I am kidding! I wasn't drunk.

\- He also has a sense of humour...Is this really our Captain?

\- I just wanted to show to my niece how important her feelings are for me.

SINCE Levi had never talked about his relatives, his words were really surprising.

-So, who is your niece? – Mikasa asked.

\- It's you.

-?

\- My surname is also Ackerman. I am your uncle.

\- Uncle?

-Yeah.

-Then buy me a chocolate.

\- Why should I?

\- Because it's uncle's duty to buy chocolates for his niece.

-Okay. Let's go... niece.

\- Let's go, uncle!

...

104th squad looked at Mikasa and Levi going to buy chocolates.

Mikasa was holding his hand.

They heard her talking in a little girl's voice:

\- Oh, my uncle is so nice! I love my uncle!

Eren sighed.

\- Even THOUGH I don't love her... I am starting to get jealous.


	4. The Dieting Trio

**Hi everyone! **

**I've come back to the Poor Stupid Sasha, my first fanfiction ever. This is my last year at school and we still have to learn tones of new English words. I'm going to have fun learning them while writing SnK fanfiction! Hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing! :)**

**Wodrs in brackets are the translations into Lithuanian language.**

**P.S. I know that first three chapters are really lame... Right now, I'm editing them.**

**These are the words for September, 2014.**

**1\. Repetitive (pasikartojantis)**

**2\. The grounds (sodas, parkas prie namo)**

**3\. To be absent (nebūti, nedalyvauti)**

**4\. Premises (patalpos)**

**5\. Reluctant (nenorintis)**

**6\. Reluctance (nenoras)**

**7\. Absence (nebuvimas, nedalyvavimas)**

**8\. A landlord/landlady (nuomojamo būsto savininkas)**

**9\. A tenant (nuomininkas)**

**10\. A manuscript (rankraštis)**

**11\. Distinguished (įžymus, pasižymėjęs)**

**12\. A forgery (klastotė)**

**13\. To exaggerate (padidinti, perdėti)**

**14\. To be taken aback (būti šokiruotam)**

**15\. To go off (nustoti mėgti)**

**16\. To take to (pamėgti iš karto)**

**17\. To be in the public eye (būti žiniasklaidos dėmesio centre)**

**18\. An obituary (nekrologas)**

**19\. To enhance (padidinti, sustiprinti)**

**20\. Unconventional (neįprastas)**

**21\. A put-down (pažeminimas)**

**22\. To detract from (menkinti, atimti, mažinti)**

**23\. To maroon (išlaipinti negyvenamoje saloje)**

**24\. A tabloid (nedidelio formato bulvarinis laikraštis)**

**25\. Detest (neapkęsti, šlykštėtis)**

**26\. To loathe (jausti pasibjaurėjimą, neapkęsti)**

**27\. Indifferent (abejingas)**

**28\. Muzak (įrašų muzika, nuolat grojama parduotuvėse)**

**29\. A fad (greitai praeinantis susižavėjimas)**

**30\. A high-flyer (talentingas, ambicingas žmogus)**

** feature (reklamuoti, vaizduoti, charakterizuoti)**

**32\. To place an emphasis on something (ką nors akcentuoti)**

** put forward (pasiūlyti)**

**34\. A solicitor (žemesnio rango advokatas)**

**35\. Penthouse (prabangus butas pastogėje)**

**36\. Rustic (kaimiškas)**

**37\. Impersonal (formalus, nejaukus)**

**38\. Lived-in (nudėvėtas, patogus, natūralios išvaizdos)**

**39\. A candle holder (įprasta žvakidė)**

**40\. A candle stick (žvakidė ant koto)**

**41\. A three-piece suite (trijų baldų komplektas)**

**42\. A charter flight (užsakomasis skrydis ar reisas)**

**43\. A schedule flight (skrydis pagal tvarkaraštį)**

**44\. A deprived area (nuskurdusi vietovė)**

**45\. Low budget tourists (turistai, turintys nedaug pinigų)**

**46\. A shoestring budget ( ribotas kiekis pinigų, kuriuos gali išleisti)**

**47\. Up-market travellers (turistai, turintys daug pinigų)**

**48\. Pristine (švarus, nepaliestas)**

**49\. To trek (keliauti ilgą nuotolį pėsčiomis)**

**50\. To repel (sukelti pasibjaurėjimą)**

**Besides, word MES means WE in Lithuanian language.**

Sasha had already been DISTINGUISHED for her apetite so nobody WAS TAKEN ABACK when she ate too much during the supper. Of course, her overeating didn't pass without any outcomes. Sasha's stomach was working too intensively to let her fall asleep.

She couldn't sleep. So, what else could she do? Right now, even thinking about food REPELLED her. Sometimes it happens even to Sasha Braus. Being sick DETRACTS FROM eating everyone. Even her.

It's so boring when you can't sleep! And eat. What else could she do? What?..

...Of course! Talk to the other girls! But... They're all sleeping. The first thing that she has to do is to wake them.

How? Right now, they're all so INDIFFERENT, breathing in a deep sleep.

Suddendly Sasha's wandering gaze stopped at the windowsill. It was all loaded with candles. Girls loved candles that had a sweet scent so they had bought lots of them. Also, they bought some tools for keeping those candles.

Sasha took A CANDLE STICK into her right hand and A CANDLE HOLDER into her left hand. Both tools were made from metal. Sasha hit them to each other, making a lound sound which woke all the girls up.

\- W... what's happening? - Mina murmured. - Where does this sound come from?

Krista quickly jumped out of her bed, rushed to the window and fired a candle. In it's light they said Sasha holding two metal things.

\- Poor stupid Sasha, - Mikasa hissed. - You want to get AN OBITUARY tomorrow? Why are you making this noise at the midnight?

\- I can't sleep. I ate too much, - Sasha complained.

\- Your RUSTIC habit to overeat is making me DETEST you, - Ymir murmured.

\- Ymir, you can't LOATHE Sasha just because she likes food, - Krista nicely warned her beloved friend.

\- Krista is right! - Sasha added. - Overeating doesn't make me a bad person.

\- This may be true, - Mina replied. - But, Sasha... I've always wanted to ask you something.

\- Ask if just you want to.

\- How come you're still slim?

Silence.

\- Actually, I don't know myself, - Sasha confessed. - Thinking of it... looks somehow IMPERSONAL. Thinking of my body is just... an exotic idea to me. I guess it's because my metabolism is extremely fast.

\- But REPETITIVE overeating makes you gain weight even if your metabolism... whatever, - Mina murmured. - But still...

Krista endured the silence:

\- When people are talking about weight gain they always PLACE AN EMPHASIS on age.

\- What about age? - Mikasa inquired.

\- Getting old ENHANCES the weight gain, - Krista explained. - Sasha may remain slim for a while... but soon she will be a fat lady.

All the girls giggled, imagining Sasha fat. Even Annie showed a small hint of smile on her face. Sasha frowned. To her, this idea didn't sound well.

Mikasa noticed Sasha's dismay. She patted the Potato Girl's shoulder and tried to cheer her up:

\- It's not bad to be a fat old lady, Sasha. Men usually TAKE TO the fat women and, well, I've heard that most of them think a fat woman is the best type of wife. You may marry A SOLICITOR and live in a PENTHOUSE and buy yourself new THREE-PIECE SUITES every month, and... if you marry such a person, you'll BE IN THE PUBLIC EYE, we'll see you in an every TABLOID, and...

\- Stop it! - Sasha shrieked. - It's A PUT-DOWN to every woman to get fat! Okay, I've decided. I'm going on a diet!

…

The dining hall was so silent they could hear a wind whistling outside. Everyone stared at Sasha Braus. People were shocked. It was so UNCONVENTIONAL. How could the Potato Girl to refuse eating a potato?

How? It's impossible, you'd say? But it really happened!

Sasha ate her soup only. She ate more slowly than usual, but nobody payed attention to this fact. Until the hunter girl turned to Mikasa and said:

\- Here, Mikasa, you can have my bread. I don't feel like eating it.

Then the Potato Girl looked at the potato and continued:

\- I somehow WENT OFF potatoes, so I'm giving them to you.

\- But I've eaten enough, - Mikasa objected.

\- No problem! - Connie grabbed the bread with potatoes. Sasha suddendly frowned and rushed out of the dining hall, murmuring something about the MUZAK in her head.

\- What... has just happenined? - Armin was confused.

\- Looks like food was just A FAD to Sasha, - Mikasa explained. - It's good. Humanity right now is on A SHOESTRING BUDGET. We all need to eat less.

\- Yeah, that's true! - Eren screamed, several pieces of food fell out of his mouth and disappeared somewhere on the floor. - I have a something TO PUT FORWARD to. From now on, let's eat just a half of what we used to! We will save tones of food for poor DEPRIVED AREAS!

\- Eren, if you are going on a diet, then I'm going too, - Mikasa murmured.

\- You guys are crazy, - Connie announced.

…

The dieting trio walked through THE GROUNDS near the dorms.

\- I can't handle it anymore! - Sasha complained. - All that I can think about is food, food, food...

\- Sasha, calm down and imagine that food is your enemy, - Eren adviced. - We are all allies in our fight against overeating! The team of Mikasa, Eren, and Sasha. MES.

\- Sounds like a love triangle! - Sasha giggled and quickly leaned her head to avoid Mikasa's fist.

\- We need TO TREK somewhere far away from food, - Mikasa uttered. - Let's go to that empty field, okay?

\- Okay.

Their footsteps echoed to the stony ground. Sasha interrupted the PRISTINE silence:

\- It's so uncomfortable! We have mouths so let's talk about something!

\- What about?

\- Don't know...

\- Let's play the game of sentences. Do you know how to play this game? - Mikasa asked.

\- No, how?

\- I say one sentence, Sasha says the second, Eren says another sentence, then it's my turn to say one... This way, we will create a story. This game is usually fun.

\- Then you start, - Eren offered.

_\- Once upon a time, there lived a family of LOW-BUDGET TOURISTS,_ \- Mikasa started her imagined story.

\- Oh, families again... Mikasa, you are crazy when it comes about families, - Eren mumbled.

\- Eren, shut up! It's my turn, - Sasha said. - So..._ the mother was named Eren, the father's name was Mikasa, and the fabulous Sasha was their beloved, beautiful, the best daughter ever._

\- Hey? Why am I the mother? - Eren rebelled.

\- Don't make such a drama, Eren, - Mikasa warned him. - It's just a game.

\- Really, - Sasha approved.

\- That's all! I'm quitting this stupid game! Just two of you can play it!

_\- __The family had a cute LIVED-IN house in the countryside, _\- Mikasa continued.

\- Booo – ring! - Eren mocked her.

Mikasa kicked him right into the empty stomach. Eren crouched on the grass. The two girls didn't pay any attention to his painful moaning. They carried on their sentence game.

_\- __One day, the family felt a RELUCTANCE to live like this forever in the same PREMISES,_ \- Sasha murmured.

_\- __It happened when the mother found A MANUSCRIPT where it was written about the sea, -_ Mikasa sighed.

_\- In that paper the sea was FEATURED like the best thing that could ever exist..._

At that moment, Eren overtook them, still moaning.

\- You're so cruel you'll never find a man who'd like to marry you, - he told Mikasa. - Besides, have I just heard a word "sea"?

Eventually, Mikasa took Sasha's hand, and replied:

\- I don't need to wait until someone doles me by marriage... It's my turn to tell the sentence, right, my Potato Girl?

Sasha nodded her head. A slight blush dyed her cheeks.

_\- The father met a giant bird who led the three family members to sit on it's back..._

\- Mikasa, are you really not a small girl? - Eren giggled.

_\- __The bird brought them by a cheap SCHEDULE FLIGHT!_ \- Sasha shrieked. - Eren, you idiot, stop interrupting us!

\- Really! - Mikasa nodded her head. - So... _While flying, they saw another family, which was a family of UP-MARKET TRAVELLERS._

_\- __And they were flying by A CHARTER FLIGHT,_ \- Sasha added.

_\- __So they got jealous and fought each others to the death, and that was the end,_ \- Mikasa ended the story.

\- Hey! - Eren complained. - I wanted to hear about them reaching the sea!

\- Actually, me too, - Sasha said.

\- I did it to mock Eren in the same way he mocked us, - Mikasa explained. - OK, I'm taking back that sentence. _The family memebers were so thankful to the bird that they started praising him._

_\- __And they EXAGGERATED everything, so the bird said their talks were just A FORGERY and when they raeched the sea the bird MAROONED them in a small, small island where they died from hunger,_ \- Eren said quickly.

The girl stopped and changed the understanding gazes with each other. Then Mikasa and Sasha turned at Eren at the same time.

\- You are such A HIGHFLYER if you dare to intrude our story, - Mikasa told Eren, and then she said to Sasha: - I wanna beat him.

\- Then beat him, - Sasha adviced. - I don't think it would kill him.

…

The dieting trio (MES) WAS ABSENT for entire day. Their ABSENCE was finished at the evening, when Mikasa came back, bringing a faint Eren, with Sasha scurrying after her. Armin was the first one who saw them. The blonde boy rushed out to meet them, but suddendly stopped.

He heard Sasha and Mikasa humming a strange song:

_TENANTS are tenants,_

_Tenants, tenants, tenants._

_LANDLADIES, ladies,_

_Landladies, landladies._

_LANDLORDS are the lords,_

_Lords, lords, lords, not tenants._

_We are RELUCTANT_

_To live in our bodies._

\- What a... - Armin was shocked.

He understood. They were crazy! They got crazy because of their diet! The lack of glucose... that's why their brain had stopped working! That's why they sang such a stupid song!

If they are hungry enough to sing that song... The there's just only one way to save them from craziness!

Armin breathed in deeply and shrieked as loud as he could:

\- Food!

…

The next day the dieting trio ate all of their meals.

The talks about getting old and fat became the taboo among 104th. squad trainees.


End file.
